Neurologist Appt.

I met with my actual Neurologist today! I usually see her PA but this is about a year out so it was time to see the Big Girl! I just love her. She re-ran the tests of strengths and feels that my strength has come up and I functionally am better.

Its the depression that's killing me. Dr felt its reactive depression after doing battle with skin cancer, breast cancer and double mastectomy, menopause and MS. She rolled her eyes and commented that was an awful lot to go through! She also suggest Elavil was NOT the right antidepressant and to try Pristiq and gave me some samples. After reading the side effects, ugh, I am not sure I want to try this. I might try Lexapro again and give it at least a few weeks instead of a few days. Pristiq is an SNRI like that danged Cymbalta that almost sent me to the ER so I am scared of even trying it. I have to do something since I am sore, and depressed. Cannot seem to snap out of it. Regardless, I will keep trying the 5-HTP for another week or so and hope it helps. It is supposed to really do the trick for fibromyalgia and depression by rebuilding the serotonin in the brain rather than just recycle what you have (or don't have!)

It's a really depressing day today as well with nasty rain and chilly (40's) temperatures. I just wanted to come home and crawl into bed and did rest in my chair for an hour then cleaned up boxes as a start to put down the Christmas ornaments.

I am going to try to eat more, like all the time to help me gain weight. My goal is to gain 10 lbs by the first of March so that will require a ton of food. I already eat a lot but seem to keep losing. The thyroid stuff should start to make a difference but when oh when?

I just felt like crap today and I know its mostly the depressing weather. I bundled up and went out for my 16 minute walk anyways, but even this blood mover, endorphin producer exercise wasn't comfortable or pleasant. I do feel my legs feel a bit lighter though! So good things should follow shortly.

Cheers!

Back on IVSM

Had my neurologist appt today at 11:10 and went over my options. Tia talked to me about my DMD options and suggested maybe Rebif or Tysabri or to my surprise, IVIG. I know a lot about the former two but got some info on IVIG. She seemed to think it works like an immune system reboot and work really really well.

Meanwhile after going over my laundry list of symptoms she didn't think I had gone over to SPMS but just never recovered from my previous relapse and need the steroids. Oh well, my eye definately was cloudy, indicating a re-flare of optic neuritis. I also went over antidepressants and will give Lexapro a try starting at 2.5 mg at night and see how I tolerate it then titrate the dose up to maybe 10 mg. Gosh I hope it helps my outlook. The pain has just gotten to be too much and I feel like I just don't have the energy to fight it anymore. Sigh. She also suggested upping the valium, especially if I wake up in the middle of the night, like around 4 AM and cannot go back to sleep. She basically laughed at my only taking 1.25 mg twice a day. :( I hate drugs, I sure do. I want off all of them, but that's not going to happen as I realize. So I want to be a happy MS'er at least not a depressed patient. I have lots of living to do, but dragging through each day is so stressful and difficult. I feel so guilty for not carrying my weight in the family. I do feel sad.

I will have blood tests next week on Monday then the new set of MRIs on Thursday. I guess I will be in the machine for 2 hours doing brain, cervical and thoracic or lumbar, I forget. I go back to the Neurologist on November 4th and meet with her and the PA to discuss my options.

I gave them the unused Copaxone I had in hopes it might help someone else who has to wait a long time to get their drug or who needs a free 20 days worth. Also showed Tia my keenfit walking poles as I thought they might benefit another patient with the "wobbles." They are cool for anyone though who wants a better workout when walking. Check them out at www.keenfit.com.

The weather is gorgeous. The owls hoot at night. The male is a huge fellow with a 4 foot wing span and stands about 24 inches tall or more. Rain is in the forecast again for Thursday. Blech!
I am going back to sleep!

At the top is a small picture of the owl's last crop of babies from our front pine tree.